Good Night Podcast
"Good Night" puts a smile on your face, tells you a bedtime story, chucks the day's problems, gives you a verbal back rub and tucks you in for a safe, sound, good night's sleep.
There are several ways to hear Dick’s Good Night Podcast.
If you'd prefer, you can listen to any episode below, without subscribing.
Episode 544Apr 23, 2017Alone vs Lonely
I'm sitting here in my big, manly, black leather poppa chair in my living room, contemplating the great divide between men and women. I know a couple of really smart, pretty women who are leading lonely lives...I think un-necessarily.
In my book Staying Happy Healthy And Hot, there's a story about a Louie-Louie Generation lady I saw in an Applebee's bar recently. She was eyeing some guy sitting alone. She reached into her pocket book for a small perfume bottle, squirted some on her little lace hankie, slipped it into the guy's jacket pocket, smiled up at him and walked away without saying a word.
Naturally, he caught up with her and asked her what that was all about. She just said, "It looks good in your pocket." Then she asked if he went there often, and shook her head as if she couldn't hear and said, "It's noisy in here," and she leaned over toward him so she could hear his answer. The guy didn't stand a chance. That lady knew the secret.
Just ask. I've never seen a woman get turned down when she says to a guy, "Would you like to come up to my apartment?" Why don't more women ask men more often? Men are easy. Just ask...and ye shall usually receive.
Episode 543Apr 16, 2017The Heart Throb Headline
Today's Headline: Heartthrob Kit Harrington, the brooding, sword-wielding hero Jon Snow in HBO's Game of Thrones, is fed up with women swooning over him, hearts throbbing like mad. Awww. Let's say it all together guys at the count of 3. 1-2-3...AAwww the poor guy. He says, "It's blatantly sexist." Yes, and I am shocked...shocked I tell you. And not the least bit jealous. Because I'm a real guy.
If you women started spreading some of that excess swooning and throbbing over Kit around to the rest of us guys we wouldn't complain like he does. Because real guys don't complain. We just soldier on...even in the face of such throbbing, festering female ferocity.
But if you're going to pitch in and throb for us too ladies, you can't start too soon. According to the Washington Post, Americans had about 33% less sex last year compared to 1990. And the smart guys in the white lab coats at the University of Pittsburgh say spending too much time on Facebook, Twitter, You Tube and Instagram seems to be the main reason.
Virtual reality is beating meat reality. Instead of "Your place or mine," It's now "Hey babe...want to peek at my password?" Maybe it's just me, but that sounds as exciting as biting into a chocolate bar that has a leaf of lettuce inside.
Episode 542Apr 09, 2017I Lied
I am generally in favor of telling the truth. Truth is powerful. But last week I lied. I lied to Facebook. I told them my birthday was last week, they put up a notice to that effect and somewhere around 400 of you sent Happy Birthday greetings...for which I sincerely thank you...I tried to answer all of you, to tell you thanks, I didn't mean to lie to you, I only meant to lie to the Facebook computer, and I really do appreciate your good wishes. But after about 100 answers, my computer screwed up and stopped working.
There are at least 2 lessons here. Lesson #1 is, "Never let a computer know you're in a hurry." Lesson #2 is, "Never let a computer program like Facebook know all about you, because computers can't keep secrets, they'll blab to anyone who knows how to hack."
So now, I'm sitting here in my big, manly black leather poppa chair, trying to figure out which of these to believe: "He who hesitates is lost," or "Look before you leap." Common sense says they can't both be true but there's an ELEMENT of truth in both of them. It's not like, "The check is in the mail" or "I'm from the government and I'm here to help you."
Episode 541Apr 02, 2017Stop Complaining
Stop complaining. We can't do anything much about what is, but we can look at it differently...and we really should.
Episode 540Mar 26, 2017Borderline Harrison Ford
Everybody is entitled to a fantasy, right? Here's one of my favorites.
Episode 539Mar 19, 2017Mickey vs. Dickie
I had to kill the mouse! He had my Lady trapped on her dresser. Poor little thing. (The mouse I mean.)"Twas the night before Christmas and all through the house not a creature was stirring not even..." Yeah. THAT MOUSE.
Episode 538Mar 12, 2017Tune In And Laugh At Americans
It sometimes seems like China purposely sends us stuff to assemble that just doesn't want to fit together. Is it so they can video a "Reality" show from their satellites?
Episode 537Mar 05, 2017Baseball Memories
Why won't women ever play major league baseball? The answer is right here in this podcast, along with a little touch of magic at a ball park.
Episode 536Feb 26, 2017Barbara's February Flower
Once upon a time, many, many years ago, I was cutting down a pine tree in my most manly way, and my ax split off a small chunk of wood that had a smaller plug inside. You know how a hot dog looks in a bun? That's kind of what it looked like. It was... unusual. And it smelled wonderful...it was pine.
So I gave it to my Lady Wonder Wench. She still has it on her dresser all these years later. She keeps treasures like that...shells from various beaches we've visited on vacations we've enjoyed...a very old shirt of mine that she used to wear at night when I was away on business...A Christmas poem I wrote for her, many Christmases ago...a ring I made out of the top of an old snap top soda can. They're like 3D selfies of the times of our lives.
I'm pretty sure I found something to add to her collection yesterday. The smart guys in the white lab coats call it an Eranthis Hyemalis. But I just call it Barbara's February Flower because Barbara is my Lady's name. Barbara's February Flower is a tiny bright yellow flower...about the size of a dandelion. And I found it growing next to our driveway yesterday. In order for you to understand why I think she'll find a way to keep it, you need to know that I'm recording this podcast near the end of February...in Pennsylvania. As in it's so cold you could freeze an egg on the sidewalk. And please...no more snow. You say, "Hello" but nobody hears you because the words freeze and fall down on the sidewalk.